Just The Fluff.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I am weary. Like bone tired, half-eaten-cheerio in my hair kind of weary. I was up six times last night with the baby and am now rocking said baby who is fighting sleep… the irony of that situation is not new to me. She is fighting sleep and I am fighting for it. 

 

 

I never knew motherhood could be so tiring. Some days I feel like I am failing at just about everything: 

    • Failing as a Mom
    • Failing at keeping my bum small enough for my favorite pair of blue jeans
    • Failing with the load of clothes that I washed three times because I just can’t remember to switch them to the dryer
    • Failing with the thick layer of dust that has settled on everything, happily realizing that a dust cloth is not in its future
    • Failing as a wife, because in my survival state of mind, kindness and understanding are sometimes the first things to go
    • Failing as a person, because some days I am so tired I can’t even make it out of the house

Failing. My internal list of failures and shortcomings unfortunately is as bottomless as Mary Poppin’s Purse. 

I was talking to another Mom-friend the other day, who is currently in the weeds of motherhood, saying some things very similar to what goes on in my head every day. She was being way too hard on herself, listing off all the little things she thought she was doing wrong as a parent, but completely ignoring the HUGE, COLOSSAL, thing she was always doing right. She is THERE. She is present. She is trying her very best. And then a light went on… I am too. 

Someone once told me that being a Mom isn’t as complicated as everyone else thinks. You just have to show up. You have to love them and you have to show up. And that really is the truth. It really is that simple. Let’s say it again for the people in the back… You have to love them and you have to show up. If this is all that you have had the energy to do today you are nowhere close to failure. You are doing the utmost and you are winning at parenting, and everything else can wait. 

The clean house that you see that Instamom rocking on the internet can wait, and by the way that ain’t real kids. That girl MOST definitely has piles of Laundry too… She just ain’t about to show us that! 

The perky butt can wait too. (Tear* someday… I will get my butt back. Maybe when I am eighty… )

All those “extra” little things that you think add up to being a successful human…  those things may be on a “later” shelf for now. I am here to tell you that leaving a few of those things on the back burner… doesn’t make you a failure, it just makes you a parent. Sometimes just being a parent, it is the job. It’s the only job that truly matters if it gets done or not. Everything else is just the fluff.

So here I am. I am a Mom, and I am weary. So weary in fact that I told my husband that I wanted pizza from the Vault for Valentine’s Day, and he reminded me that the Vault is my hair salon. So, even if you are like me, and so tired that you try to order takeout from your hair salon… just remember you’re still doing a great job. Just get that cheerio out of your hair girl…

We’re not saving that for later. 

Xoxo, 

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