“I believe in Fairytales and dreamer’s dreams like bedsheet sails, and I believe in Peter Pan, and miracles anything I can to get by, and fireflies.” I used to listen to this song Fireflies by Faith Hill on repeat. It was the mantra of my life, this idea that miracles could happen (they can by the way), and life was just one big fairytale. All I had to do was wait for Prince Charming to ride up on a White Horse to sweep me off my feet and whisk me off to some castle to make all my worries fade away. And that was what I believed, wholeheartedly, for many years… but now it’s time to call some BS.
We grew up as little girls cuddled up in our security blankets, huddled in front of the TV watching Disney movie after Disney movie where the beautiful princess/damsel in distress got saved by her Prince. It’s a beautiful storyline… and it does give you little butterflies in your stomach thinking about the romance of it all, but what did that teach us as little girls? What notion did that instill in our impressionable young minds?
I was flying with this woman who I just fell in love with over the course of two days. She was so great! She was about 7 months pregnant and we had gotten into a “jumpseat conversation,” about if she had a little girl (they weren’t finding out until the birth), and she said to me, “If I have a girl, it is going to be my sole job to make her the most confident woman in the world. I mean I want her to be obnoxious confident. I want her to believe she is a fiery, fierce, warrior princess who can do anything in the world.” How many of us grew up believing that? Or how many of us grew up believing that our fairytale ending wasn’t complete until it had all of its parts: The damsel, the savior prince, the white horse, the castle with all the bells and whistles.
I used to be a firm believer in the average fairytale until I realized… this storyline is sweet.. but it’s BS. Why can’t I just save myself? Because I am a fiery, fierce, warrior princess who can do literally anything in the world. And so are all of you… because we are women. We don’t need a white horse to ride up and save us. We don’t need a Prince Charming to complete our happy ever afters. It took me a really long time to realize that I didn’t need a guy in my life to make me happy, because that is what I was taught by society, by the movies I binge watched, by my friends who got married right out of high school. I had this belief system that there was this natural timeline for life, and if I didn’t make the milestones… how could I live a happy life?
Guess what? I am a single, 27-year-old, woman, and I am more content than I have ever been in my entire life. I am constantly growing. I push myself to be a better person and a better friend. I live my life by my timeline, and I am happy. Love is a really wonderful thing. So when you find a partner who compliments (recognize that I don’t say completes here) your greatness and makes your life better, you should snatch them up quicker than a popsicle in the middle of an 80-degree day. But I am here to tell you the real piece missing in your happy ending equation: you’re lookin’ at her. It’s you girl it’s YOU! And once you realize that? Nothing can stop you. So get on your white horse, and go change this world: because you are a beautiful, confident, and unstoppable force. Duh… you are a woman.
P.S… Still a great song