I have not written a single thing in months. I don’t know if I have had major writer’s block or if I was just about on the verge of giving up on this little blog of mine, but nothing has made me feel inspired. I just didn’t feel like writing, and when I did write it was usually so personal I couldn’t bring myself to share it. Until yesterday when I got on the van to go to the airport in San Diego, and I suddenly felt like I finally had something to tell.
It all started with a green bikini. Okay thats false information because it’s not a bikini, it’s a one piece, BUT its definitely not a one piece your grandma would wear. I almost didn’t buy it at Target, but I sent a photo to my roommate from the dressing room and she sent me one text back – “Do it for the booty.” And me having worked on my butt all season long, threw it in my little red basket along with my milk and headed for the door.
I had big plans for my little green bikini. I was going to lay my butt out by the pool at my house and make like a rock. DO absolutely nothing. And lay in the sun and bake. In typical fashion, usually when I make plans to NOT make plans, Crew scheduling has OTHER plans. And at about 6:00 on Friday night I got a call saying that I needed to work a flight to San Diego the next morning. I am so used to having my plans changed at this point, I threw my green bikini in my suitcase and rolled with it. Literally… rolled out the door with my suitcase and went to work.
There was a “Newbie”‘ flight attendant on my trip, his name was Adam. And I have to say… the guy was not great at first impressions. I don’t usually dislike too many people but this guy – I just wasn’t sure about him. We got to the hotel, and he said it was his first time in San Diego, and it got me thinking about all the times people had taken me out during my first year, and all the times people had gone in their rooms and slammed the door. So despite my reservations I rang his room and told him I was going out for the day and asked if he wanted to go with me. He said yes, and I am pretty sure neither one of us knew what we were getting into.
My master plan was simple: Rent Lime bikes. Bike to Balboa Park. Bike to the Beach. Put on Green Bikini. Make like a rock. Lay in the California Sun. The mastering of the plan – not so simple. If you have never heard of Lime bikes before you are in for a treat. Whoever invented Lime bike needs 1000 hugs because it is an awesome concept. Lime bike is a bike sharing program where you can pick up and leave your bike anywhere in the city. Its all tracked by an app on your phone. Finding a bike is usually the easy part because the app shows you on a GPS map where the nearest ones are located. Adam and I set out to find our bikes and nothing was seeming easy. The first three bikes we found were “down for maintenance,” the fourth bike had a homeless man in a tutu riding around on it, and the fifth bike was “I kid you not” laying in 15 pieces on the street corner.
We were just about to give up on the bike situation when we saw two lime green bikes gleaming in the distance. I scanned one of the bikes with my app and it sang its little happy tune as it unlocked. Adam’s did the same. We were so relieved that we had found working bikes that we failed to notice that the bikes were not regular Lime bikes but they were electrically assisted. If you have ever been in the Gaslight district of San Diego then you know how crowded it is. There were wall to wall people on the side walks. I got on my bike, unexpectedly pushed one pedal forward and almost bull dosed about 15 pedestrians. Not kidding. I almost took them out. That bike had a mind of its own and I was just along for the ride. Not to mention I was in a dress, and every time the wind blew I had to choose between decency and riding face first into a metal light post because it was too hard to reach down and adjust my fluttering hem. After about 35 more near death experiences, and about 25 people who got a nice, free view of my undergarments we made it to one of my favorite places in San Diego: Balboa Park.
Balboa Park is one of my go-tos in San Diego because it is beautiful all year around, and if you don’t have a whole lot of money to spend you don’t have to. Just go and enjoy the flowers, or a free concert in the outdoors. If you do have a little money to spend Balboa Park has more than 16 museums on site with exhibitions that are always changing. As it turned out, Adam used to study Botany so he was actually impressed by all of the flowers that I made him look at. Either that or he was thinking, “okay this girl just tried to kill me on a bicycle so I better smile and say I like plants.”
We rode our wannabe motorcycles for hours that day. I have to admit, Adam was a real trooper because he didn’t complain one bit. He just kept peddling behind me mile after mile – dodging cats, people, and birds alike.
I kept telling him we could just ride over the bridge to Coronado. And then we saw the bridge and realized it was a giant highway and one that we would surely die on whilst riding our Lime bikes. So we said goodbye to the bikes and in tune with the day had to figure out plan B, which ended up being in the form of a ferry with all black seats. To the person who designed a ferry with all black seats in the state that gets sunshine almost all year round: DID YOU COME TO WORK DRUNK? Because everyone on the boat was burning their butts off. It was like a weird ferry dance. We would all sit down then jump right up again.
We finally got to Coronado, I got to wear my little green bikini, and we spent the entire day playing like kids in the waves, and making like rocks. Adam turned out to be one of the nicest guys ever. The day was both exactly and absolutely nothing like I had planned, and I don’t think I have laughed so hard in years, and I certainly have never played “frogger” with real people. My plan for the weekend was so simple, but in the blink of an eye I had to change all my plans. So the moral of this story is… When life gives you limes – Ride them to the nearest beach and add tequila, I am sure it will turn out just great.