So I am a total wacko for ABC’s show, The Bachelor. I love it. It’s like crack to me. I love the drama, the romance, the occasional crazy psychos that we all privately believe are hired actresses/ actors just to make the show a little bit juicier (because nobody can be that cray cray right?? We can only hope.. 😳) I have watched every episode for years. In college I started this weekly bachelor viewing party in our tiny dorm room. We literally would pile people in. I even went so far as to convince my college boyfriend to surprise all of the girls one night and come to the room dressed in a suit with red roses for a surprise rose ceremony… The obsession was real. Is real. So when I saw that ABC was hosting a casting call in Charlotte that was the end of it. I knew I would be at that thing if it was the last thing I did. So I texted my friend Abby, and she just so happened to be in Charlotte so we primped up and drove downtown to the Epicentre, Charlotte’s central clubbing hub. The casting call was at a club called Suite, which in my opinion is the snoody-pa-tooty club of Charlotte. I mostly think this because I saw a bouncer there deny a guy from getting in one night because he had canvas sneakers on. Like come on! Ain’t nobody going to see his feet in a pitch black night club. Rude. Anyways, Abby and I had never been to Suite, so we had absolutely not a flying figs idea of where to go. We weren’t curious for long, because as soon as we pulled into the parking garage we saw a leggy, brunette wearing six and a half-inch sparkly, silver heels and a red dress that would have made Tarzan and his loin cloth proud. I said to Abby, “let’s follow her.” Sure enough… Ding ding ding. Red dress for the win. The vixon in stilletos lead us right to the club as Abby and I chuckled at the fact that we were even there.
There were women everywhere. Young, old, tall, small, tiny dresses, long dresses. Some were freaking out in corners with MAC powders, some were begging the casting agents for a second chance because, “Like. That first take just wasn’t me. Like can I please just Like do it again.” It was a whole other world. There were many people there just looking for their big break, their shot at famedom. Which is what being a part of bachelor nation usually results in. On the flip side there were the normal girls, the “Becca Tilleys.” The ones who looked like they had gotten off work, curled their hair, put on some quick cover girl lip matte and took a shot at finding love. Because hey… A shot is a shot right? And in a world where hookups and casual dating prevails, maybe bachelor nation was worth a try.
First came the questionnaire: What do you weigh? What is your social? What are three adjectives to describe you? And on, and on, and on. That part took about ten minutes. Next came the photos, and they were all up close and personal. They saw every pore. EVERY DANG PORE. I thought the lady might touch the lens to my fence she got so close. I guess they wanted to see what I would look like on all of those 3D, HD, million megapixel TVs floating out there in the world. The last part was the video interview snake line. They put us in a rotating line until we got picked to do a 2-5 minute video interview. I sat next to a “Becca Tilley” in the snake line. Thankfully, she was dressed normally, she had things to talk about other than why she wanted to be on The Bachelor, and she was just the kind of person you would want to be friends with. Her name was Jannan. We all talked until we finally made it to the front and got called into our interviews. I’m going to be honest I think I got stiffed, because my casting director was on her first day ever on the job and she was so nervous it made me nervous. She asked me about my previous love lives and why they didn’t work out. She asked why I wanted to be on the show, and what I did for a living. She asked me a lot of very personal questions, and I think she was trying to make me shed a like tear like like 😉 I am an open book already, and personal doesn’t bother me so I just answered her questions and before I knew it, it was over.
Neither Abby, Jannan or I got chosen to go on the Bachelor, but honestly it didn’t matter as much to me because #1) I don’t want to be famous. Mostly because… if I want to go to food lion at 7:00 am in sweats with no makeup on to get creamer or pancake mix I can do so, and nobody knows who I am. That’s the miracle of being a regular person. Pancake mix. No makeup. No problem. #2) I think love is such a miracle because you can’t plan it. You just kind of fall into it, head first when you aren’t looking (sounds slightly painful). #3) Jannan, my snake line buddy, is now one of my best friends.
I don’t think I will try out for The Bachelor again anytime soon, but if you are thinking about trying out, I would say go for it. For one, it’s totally free entertainment. I could have watched some of those girls for hours. It was hilarious. And second, you may just come out of it with a friend or two, and that’s worth more than bachelor famedom could ever bring you! Just remember, If you are afraid of lenses two inches from your eyeball… I would avoid it at all costs. Now I have to go, and work my little bootay off at the gym because this working girl has to be in bed super early! Buenas noches! Have a fabulously, non-famous week.